I wrote to TMA-board that I would update my blog so now I have to do it ;-)

Status: Fever is down and I tapered pred to 25 mg. Trexan is starting to kick in??? My mechanic hands are getting better. The deepest and the most painful cracks on my fingertips have healed. Otherwise my hands look like everything else but pretty...

Lately I found out from a friend that my future X has been seen "with a wife" and that "wife" wasn´t me. I don´t know when this happened and I didn´t care to ask. But this news got my fever to rise again for a couple of days. I am starting to think that people were right when they told me that what I know so far is only the tip of the iceberg. I was also told that I would probably never hear about everything. I believe that. Goes without saying that I feel humiliated, hurt and so disappointed. Don´t know if I´m more disappointed in him or myself for being so naive and blind? At the moment I feel so num that I wonder if I ever felt love? Can´t remember what it felt like. I feel like the whole world has known the truth but me.

Last weekend I met my in-laws for the first time since this divorce-thing started. I felt that we all were very uncomfortable with each other for the moments we met. I don´t like the idea of losing them from my life but if it happens then it happens. Last weekend was not the best one anyway. My youngest found a pearl from our backyard and do you know what you do when you find a pearl? You put it in your ear, of course! So I had to take him to the doctor and he couldn´t get it out, it was so deep. Had to go the hospital the next day and they put him to sleep and removed the pearl. I hope he remembers not to do that again. It was so terrible to watch my baby in a hospital clothings. Usually it´s the other way around. I couldn´t help but thinking, this is so wrong, eventhough the reason was nothing serious. I could only imagine how painful it must be for those parents whose children are seriously ill and in a hospital. What a show a tiny pearl can cause... It was pink by the way!

All the 25 frogs are finished and delivered. One more owl to do and it must be ready in a week. Two home-exams and I´ve finished the first year of my studies. Then starts the two summer courses I took. After that, nothing but me and the kids and hopefully sunny weather :-D