To wake up every morning

In pain?


To wake up every morning

Shaking with fever?


To have a handful of pills

For breakfast?


To see your love ones

Turning their back at you?


To lose people close to you

For fear?


To start everything

All over again?

And again?

And again?



Is this the day

My body gives up?


It ´s like a living hell!

It´s myositis!

As you can see, today is not the best day for me. I had 4 days without fever. Then came a huge emotional crisis, to both ways, up and down. I was almost panicking. Didn´t know what to do or think. Felt like I was completely messed up. Like someone just keeps on playing with my feelings.

The next day my fever is back. This morning I woke up early, freezing and shaking. I am so confused and mad. Mad at my future X. He refuses to talk about anything or doesn´t answer any questions. I hate that. It makes me feel like there are more secrets he has to hide and they are worse than what has come out so far.